Two or three years after we moved to Florida, we discovered we had a Cuban tree frog living on the top of our entry rainspout. These frogs are an invasive species and the University of Florida’s extension service recommends killing them. I didn’t have the heart to do that.

Every evening we would see him crawl along the outside of the front door to get to the living room window. He would perch himself there and munch on the insects that were attracted to the light.

About 2 AM one night, we I heard the vertical blinds on our bedroom sliding glass doors move. Now I know we don’t use those sliders at all, and Mrs. FOG always keep them locked. I lay very still in bed listening, for more noise. Dang, the blinds moved again. While I am trying to figure out how to see what is going on and not wake the Mrs., she says “What’s that?’

Ok, we are both up now, so I get out of bed and turn on the lights. There sits our frog buddy from the front of the house. He is hopping and hitting the vertical blinds. We remembered that we used the front door to bring in groceries earlier that evening and figured he must have gotten in the house then.

No big deal, just grab him and take him outside. Yeah right. When I reached for him, he jumped under the bed.

A bit of an aside. Perhaps the following falls into the category of too much information, but I think it is essential for you to fully visualize the scene: I sleep in just briefs. Also, I really do resemble the cartoon rendering of me at the bottom of these pages. Got the picture? Back to the story.

The frog is under the bed now, so I get down on my belly to reach for him.

You need to know that here in Florida; space under the bed is used for storage. We have no basements and very small attics. If you are ever a guest, please don’t look under the bed.

As I am searching for the little bug eyed critter, he jumps on the wall behind the headboard of the bed. It is impossible to reach him now.

We decide we have to take the mattress off to be able to get him (of course, it is a king size bed). Off comes the mattress, no easy feat, then and the box springs. Keep in mind this is TWO AM!

There he is, out in the open, with no place to go. I made a fast grab and caught the little rascal. I took him to the front door and released him. Yeah, I know I am still in my skivvies; it is TWO AM. Who is going to see me?

I return to the bedroom ready to get back to sleep, only to discover Mrs. FOG with a feather duster in her hand, dusting all of the boxes and items stored under the bed, It can never be said that the old girl is a slouch when it come to keeping the house neat as a pin. But…IT IS TWO AM!!!

I really didn’t mind the dusting; that only took a minute or two. When the vacuum cleaner made its appearance; that was a whole different ball game.

Stay calm FOG, I said to myself, let her do her thing. Thankfully, she did not think it necessary to scrub the walls or carpet. We finally got the bed back together, got all tucked in, and returned to dreamland. What a night.



FOG sez:

I whispered to the frog as I released him, “If this happens again, we’ll have frog legs for breakfast.